Relationships are often hard to manage but beautiful if you have the right tools!
I've been in a few relationships, all of them went horribly but these three questions and explanations will help you navigate them a whole lot better than I did. You got this, love yourself, and put it in a box only accessible to you. Period.
“Love will come to you when you least expect it, so don't expect it. Focus on you.”- Alana Brielle
Question One: Have I gotten over my past hurt?
Just make sure you’re overall past hurt. All girls and boys are not the same, not everyone is trying to hurt you and not everyone is going to hurt you. Imagine pushing away your soulmate just because Jessica or Chad did you wrong in the SIXTH GRADE. Get over it, stop holding grudges and give yourself time to heal. You may not want to hear it but being single until you get yourself together is literally the best option for everyone. Relationship PTSD is a very real thing, I’m not sure if there's a medical term for it, but it’s real. Trust issues and simple actions that trigger a whole line of emotions. My advice would be to listen to a love song, any love song, and see what you think about it. If you think about an ex, getting into a relationship may not be the best decision. Keep listening to love songs periodically and when you finally think of no one that’s a sign you may be ready to get into a relationship. Moral of the story, stay single until you’re ready to treat someone else with all the love and respect you wish you got in a past relationship. Until that point, STAY SINGLE. Stop hurting good people or setting yourself up to get hurt even further.
Question Two: Do I know enough about this person to make this decision?
Before getting into an exclusive relationship do they have everything you’re looking for? No,
I’m not talking about whether they’re your “type” or “pReFeReNcE”, I mean do they share the same values. Are they family-oriented? Do you have similar interests? Are they ambitious? How did their past relationships end? These are all questions where you can feel out what type of person they are. The favorite food and color questions are cute but are they really telling you what you need to know? Are they in a state of mind to return all your energy? If you see they aren’t, you SHOULD NOT get in a relationship with that person. Don’t ignore red flags thinking you could change them. You probably can’t, people are going to operate the way they want. A wise woman once said, “the red flags you ignore in the beginning end up being the reasons you leave later on”. Take that advice and run with it. Don’t sacrifice your happiness for anyone else, I don’t care how attractive they are or how good the sex is. Make sure you know exactly what you’re getting into before you get into it.
Question Three: Am I just lonely? Or am I ready for a partnership?
If you’re lonely you should work on being okay with yourself before forcing a relationship. Like I always say, go on a date with yourself and get comfortable with being alone. You need to understand your own space and learn what you like before you expect someone else to do it. Take time to just be single. Learn your mannerisms and your habits, work on your flaws, and fall in love with yourself. The same amount of time and effort you would put into a relationship put it in yourself. I literally can’t stress it enough. Relationships are difficult and complicated, love is not something to fuck around with and it shouldn’t be thrown around lightly. It takes both people to be secure with themselves so it can grow and flourish accordingly. Always keep that in mind, if you don’t see the person returning your energy mention it ONCE. They heard you loud and clear and people that want you will do everything to keep you. They’ll show you they want you firsthand, especially men. They’re very persistent if they really want you. So if you don’t see your energy being reciprocated LEAVE.
I know Wattpad had us all thinking relationships would be all sunshine, rainbows, and good sex but it's dead not though :(
But, remember to love yourself, trust the process & live happier
LanaSpeaks, signing off 💕