The importance of establishing a good relationship with yourself..
Developing a good relationship is the single most important thing. BE SELFISH, put yourself first at all times. At the end of the day, you are the person you’re always going to have. There’s no breaking up with yourself, there’s no “cutting” yourself off. Establishing that level of self love is freeing and relaxing for any age whether you’re 14 or 41. I challenge anyone reading this to self reflect for 20 minutes everyday. Take yourself on a date, practice being alone and having fun all by yourself. Get to know yourself the same way you’d get to know someone you’re romantically interested and don’t be afraid to ask yourself the “tough” questions. My best advice would be to have a game plan, whether you’re starting from a place of absolutely no self love or a good amount.
“Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.” - Bryon Katie
Very Little or No Self-Love-
First and foremost figure out why that is, think about why you do not love yourself. And then think about who you blame for that. Do you blame yourself? Parents? Peers from school or otherwise? If you blame anyone else but yourself think about how you can go about removing that person from your life. Parents are especially hard to remove so that requires a more intense game plan but if it’s someone you can actively ignore and avoid, DO IT. Yes it’s going to be difficult in the first few stages but it’s ultimately going to make you so much happier. Parents? That’s an entirely different ballgame and way more difficult. Sometimes parents don’t even hear themselves and consider their words before they say them, it’s disgusting and hurtful but it’s the reality of the situation. But the game plan to combat that is very simple, remove the negative tone and negative words and simply focus on any helpful information. Think of your favorite song, play that instrumental in your mind and focus on the words that apply directly to your life , this goes back to my point of being selfish. If it has nothing to do with you personally, IGNORE IT. But if you have the parent that consistently speaks harshly, ignore all the words and sing a song in your head or positive affirmations. You can do it, I believe in you, your situation is temporary. If your lack of love for yourself is self inflicted dig deep and figure out why. Maybe you don’t forgive yourself for something you did or didn’t do a long time ago. If that’s the case, let it go and if you’re religious hand it over to your God and focus on thinking positively. Once again, you got this, it does get better and I can tell you that from experience.
A lot of self love or a reasonable amount-
Remember there’s always room for growth, even if you think you’re at 100%. If you are at 100% I encourage you to maintain that and continue doing what you’re doing. You’re doing amazing sweetie *Kris Jenner voice*. But let’s say your self love is at 60% or above, you definitely have a little more to go but you’re really close ! I would advise you to focus on everything that makes you happy and brings you genuine fulfillment. If you don’t have anything that makes you feel fulfilled, I challenge you to find what you’re passionate about. It could be literally anything, art, music, painting, helping others, law, meditation, photography and more. Try everything and find your passion. Point out things on your person that you love the most, wear the clothes that make you feel confident regardless of popular opinion, and most importantly don’t put any energy into activities or people that don’t make you happy.
Positive Affirmations, say these daily no matter where you are. I advise saying them in the mirror or whenever you go to take a picture. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a male or female, these apply to everyone. Say “I am worth it. I am beautiful inside and out. I will protect my energy at all costs. I will reach all my goals and exceed my personal expectations. I love myself.”
And you know what, my friend Josh*** said it best, “self love is not only accepting yourself for who you are, being satisfied with who you are, but also having the drive to improve oneself where improvement is needed” and honestly I couldn’t have said it better myself!
Remember to love yourself, trust the process & live happier
LanaSpeaks, signing off 💕
*** credits to: @joshy_49, check out my darling he’s absolutely adorable ;).